Knowing Is Half The Battle

In a blur of just two weeks Ryan's MRI and follow-up appointment came and went.

It was a long day, but our little boy showed his strength despite the morning of fasting, the sterile hospital room and the fear of what was to come. He asked us if he had to have "pokey medicine" and if we had to stay for a long time. We knew the answer was yes to both. And that he knew it too. When the doctor came to meet him he was shy but so cooperative. I wished to pick him up and run. But he remained calm. And so brave. The nurses and doctors are amazing. We knew Ryan was in good hands. The trust I have for them keeps me (mostly) together. When it was time for him to have the anesthesia, the doctor invited me to stay by Ryan's side until he fell asleep. Somehow I managed to sing him the ABCs despite his pleas to "be done". Despite his big blue eyes looking at me and slowly slipping into a drugged sleep. It's the hardest part of the process and he was so brave. He didn't fight. He held on. And so did I.

Thankfully there is the silver lining. It's done. The anesthesia went well and the scan was completed. The nurses and doctor proved deserving our trust again and again. And again. We stayed longer to get Ryan's blood sugar up. He got an endless supply of popsicles and high-fives. He made the best of it all. And we couldn't be more proud.

... and the results! They're good! All of my fears diminished in seconds when the doctor told us that Ryan's scan showed a healthy brain and spine. Even some typical abnormalities for someone with achondroplasia were not showing. I felt like I exhaled for the first time in months.

The weight of the unknown has lifted and we are grateful that we've checked this hospital visit off of the list. Yet, this new information - though helpful - is also only part of a whole. We don't know why Ryan has headaches at only four years old. We don't fully understand his blood sugar challenges. The questions we have linger and cause confusion and new stress.

For now we "watch and wait". Perhaps as Ryan grows older, the headaches will lessen. Or maybe with our biggest fears put aside, we will catch what triggers his challenges and ultimately a cause.

But knowing what we do know is a start. And we're so grateful. It's been said that it's not happy people who are thankful. But instead that thankful people are happy. This couldn't be more true for us. We're thankful for where we are and what we know. Ryan is okay! The scan eliminated countless of serious complications common with achondroplasia and with headaches. Maybe we have more challenges ahead, but for now we are going to love the present and what it offers. Because it's awesome.